Klint's

The 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria as amended invited Section 182(1)(b) clearly affirms that no person shall be qualified for election to the office of Governor of a State if (b) he has been elected to such office at any two previous elections... Now, this restriction appears fair enough especially given that the United States of America, a country we so desperately seek to be like at least on a surface level is widely flexible as regards the number of terms that Governors are entitled to. For instance, The Governors of states like New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New York, North Dakota, Texas, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin, District of Columbia, and Puerto Rico are allowed unlimited terms in office. So, with Nigeria's proclivity for copying, albeit embarrassingly poorly, everything that the United States of America does, it is rather strange and of course a pleasant surprise that the drafters of the 1999 C...

I answered saying: "Nah it's not you baby, it's just the exams that really stressed me" Naomi with an alluring smile replied: "Come over here boo, I know what you need to feel better". Naomi that said "come over here..." didn't even let me come before she dragged me to herself & started making out. Not too long after, I had taken off her bum short & top so she was left with just the usual pant & bra. From her reactions I could tell that my foreplay game was still on point (the last girl I cheated on Naomi with complained about foreplay that I was just rushing for 'knaks'). I was about moving to the main shii when suddenly, my phone rang loudly (damn I forgot to put it on silent) but I ignored it. It kept on ringing so Naomi insisted I pick it. I was about to when i saw that it was the one number that I wished I never collected in the first place. It was my ex girlfriend, Ese the Ishan chic that made me rethink my endless...

...If there's one thing I've learnt from my numerous encounters with women, it'll be that you really don't need to lie when you don't have to because there'll always be a lot of times when you will actually need that lie. So I simply answered saying, "One girl like that on my bbm from about 3 years ago". Naomi being the oversabi chic that she is, probed further (only her doinz in the 'oza room' make me ignore her annoying overzealousness in wanting to know everything) "So Michael how come I haven't met her if you've known her for that long" I replied "Baby that's because we lost contact and haven't spoken since 3yrs ago, that's what I meant from what I said earlier". She certainly isn't the smartest but she makes up for that with other skills that she's got (if you know, you know). At least she seemed satisfied with my reply so I guess that settled that because I wasn't really intereste...

With my head resting on her bogus frontals, I really was deep in thought. I tried hard to remember her name: not the name of the present chick; of course this one's name is Naomi but the name of some chic that I had met on bbm about 3 years ago (I eventually deleted her after 6 months). She was sort of skinny or at least that's what I could figure from her pictures. Sonia was her name and I couldn't quite believe how someone I hadn't even met claimed to have such deep feelings for me after just 3 days of talking. It was barely a week after we started chatting and she wanted us to meet which I readily accepted. The D day came and some random lecturer had me pissed after he fixed a test for the next day. Now, I normally wouldn't have bothered but I had missed the previous test and I had not even opened the book yet so I cancelled meeting Sonia so that I could at least try to catch up. I know with this, you would feel we met later that week but shit happens becau...

“Ronke!!!” he screamed with all his might, the room vibrating to the thundering of his voice. His hands were sweaty and juddering, with his chest making fast-paced rhythmic movements as if dancing to a tone. Was he going to strangle her, or should he just send her packing? – Vile thoughts crept into his mind. Ronke, still petrified on the bed had beads of sweat trickling down her neck and was naked save for the bed sheet she pulled over her chest which still gave a perfect view of her underlying cleavage. Her hair was ruffled as though she had been in a fight and her lips were quivering in obvious fear. “Dabor, am so sorry”, she whimpered, hot tears streaming down her face. Her lover, their gate man had long stolen his way through and out of the house. That was obviously his last day on the job. Having an obvious look of disappointment on his face, Dabor walked out of the room into the sitting room and turned on the television.  He wanted to engross...

Strangely, I have exercised restraint in writing about the 2017 Anambra Gubernatorial election. This is attributed to a number of factors: first, I am not from Anambra (at best, I am but a passerby) and generally because my relationship with Anambra state has been most abusive. For starters, I will give a brief account of my most painful experiences with the state that is described as the Light of the Nation. Way back in 2012 while I was going to write my Post UTME at the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife and accompanied by my father, we fell victims to the touts at the dreaded Upper Iweka. It was a particularly painful experience and we ended up spending two days on the road. That experience scarred me and it made me hate Anambra state and Onitsha in particular. The other experience I had that further reinforced my disinterest in the State took place in 2015 as I was travelling home for Christmas and I fell victim again to the hoodlums at upper Iweka. This time, I actually came ...

It was your first day in your new school: one that you had dreamed of since childhood but was deprived of the opportunity to attend earlier because of a rather strange Federal Government policy. It was senior High School, the one they referred to as Senior Secondary School back in Nigeria and aside coming to dominate the academic circle in this school of your dreams, you really wanted to have a taste of love. In your previous school, you had seen close friends “fall in love” and “enjoy” their relationships and you wanted to have this feeling…It was not like you didn’t “fall in love” back then but the problem was that it didn’t take you more than a week to “fall out of love” with them girls. Perhaps, that was why you “fell in love” with virtually every girl in your class; Nnenna, Jennifer, Nkiruka, Jessica, Oluomachi, Chinecherem, Chidimma, Chinenye, Oluchi, Chioma and so on. In fact, you resolved to “fall in love” by any means possible in this your new school and it appeared as th...