FRUITLESS ENDEAVOUR

I do not know if it is just me or has any guy been stuck in 'that moment'? I seek the leave to deprive you all of what the moment entails for now; please bear with me. That was like some joking stuff I was only working on suspense. Have you ever been in that moment where you cannot stop your eyes from assessing every girl walking by? To avoid ambivalence, a girl is defined by Obed to mean a lady with a very fine face, slim and not divested the opportunities of having muscles behind and most importantly, a ginormous hooter. If I happen to be a one man army as regards the moment, who knows, I might just consider this a curse.
Exams are over! What else could make the students joyous?(smiles)and it is now a norm that two people of opposite gender hold hands, talk at night, buy suya or mishai overtly and resort to lonely places to perhaps eat the items or do things rated 18. Hey do not eat me raw, I know it is none of my business and believe me my write-up is not with a target to preaching immorality. It should not come as one horrendous news that I have this soft spot for the ladies not just because of their shape and size but also their endearing nature. This soft spot should be tagged “Sui generis” for it is no mores that what should give a guy a genuine reason to smile is the mere fact that he goes to night class and have ladies by his side-of course the ones with the hooter and encouraging faces though he may establish no communicado whatsoever. sadly, I believe, that is sufficient enough to make me smile genuinely. It is now archaic an expression to say there are many fishes in the river but has anyone thought about it in two sides? First and foremost, these fishes are the ladies and since I did not invent such expression, I humbly submit that vituperative words from the females be omitted.  About the two sides, the platitude is often times used to resuscitate a man who got knocked over by his girlfriend hammering “it’s over!” into his feeble skull. Indeed there are many fishes or let me say girls in Nigeria and other countries —for lovers of online dating. The advice given is mostly to cheer the person reminding him of the profusion of ladies and the earnest need to purchase another —not trying to call the ladies chattels anyway. The second side is of interest and it is “what happens when you do not know how to fish?”
As for the first question above, the rich class do not bother themselves for their clothes, cash, and cars do the toasting(face not of essence). The guys in the middle may not have a challenge in getting a girl after all he could have striking features like a gap tooth, lovely smile, deep voice, abs and the rest. Now down the ladder is more dreaded than hellfire or ekosodin village for it is here you find those depending on garri and salt to make it to the next day. Lot of risky behaviour occur down this ladder like sexual assault after failed attempts of toasting a “girl” and you might just excuse my French mais ce n’est bon (shakes head). I am not trying to say all poor people are like this for we still have poor God fearing people who chyke or toast their kind or successfully obtain a girl from the rich though it is often displayed in the movie world. The question of why we should fish is one not to be taken lightly. Are we fishing to fulfil the scriptures of “go ye into the world and multiply”? Bible scholars may wish to attack my question with the aid of their knowledge and the Holy Spirit by pattering down the intention of God when he made that statement. Some might argue vehemently that it was recorded in the yesteryear and so is deemed a common law position of which the coming of Christ mitigated. Well, this is no religious debate so can we proceed? Legally speaking, to fish out property in the goods is to set it aside or appropriate it, or put palatably, to sever it. Relating it therefore, we should set aside a lady from the crowd so as not to be an observer or to justify myself “a guy that merely admires Gods perfect work”.
For those who do not know me (I mean the ladies), I consider that a good thing for I cannot boast of having the best of heights and the best of faces but please cut me some slack and withdraw that thought of yours which believes I chicken out in front of a woman (adjusts shirt) I only profligate opportunities not like at this stage of my life i should be nicknamed “a dude without sufficient balls”. Still on why we fish, I am left to wonder if it is a want or a need. The last time I checked, a need for a lady in ones life is easily viewed to mean the very importance of the woman at that point and one likened to essential ingredients of life i.e. water, air and food. Save the lovers of their kind and the monks, we guys know we would at one point in our lives need a “woman”. Oh! “we would”? Does it mean we are fishing because we merely want to in a bid to fulfil all righteousness—after all my friends are dating— or because we feel something mushy within us and we feel we should get attached . What I strongly believe is common to both possibilities is that it has at its end product, carnal knowledge. Where do we place guys that start up the dating ministry but never get to graduate to even necking? I advise you answer the question silently and inwardly to avoid a nigga moment by victims. Funny enough, my write-up is anchored on such dudes.
Before going deeper, by dude or guy, I am talking about teenagers as well as “dem supping guys” I can smell that to be nebulous but I will assume you get the picture clearer than myself. Searching for a girl who is sexually deprived cannot be compared to looking for a needle in haystack for their almost invisible clothing is sufficient proof with revealing laps not contrary to a nectarine and push up bras doing  a nip and tuck with an agama lizard—what else do u need to deem them fit for nefarious activities. Guys are at this point quick to date defying whatever religious doctrine they have all for the sake of getting the cookie no matter how hot it is. Being a man or dude of supposed high moral standing, I used to get peaky by such escapades which interested parties have meteorically ran under the shelter of ”dating”. Does it mean i have stopped being peaky? (Hmm) well let us leave that. I am not trying to preach abstinence (not like I’m encouraging it either) but there is no point dating a girl if you will not be necking, smooching, or be in a state of dishabille with ones partner for a purpose of body interaction and exertion of libidal energy into fruition.
Sometimes knowledge sucks. I sometimes wish i knew not the implication of copulation for even though there is the requisite mens rea formed or preconceived in my heart, I just find it extremely onerous a task to bring to materialization, the actus reus of YOU CAN IMAGINE. Tag me a wimp or a sissy with nebbish attributes, it’s a free world but then how about a situation where you intend a quickie but things just do not go as planned. On this page, I would say I am living proof. I know what it feels like to be a guy of a certain age and unfettered expectation of certain derivation only to have the end product to be a truckload of encumbrance and untold deprivation. They say Nigeria is stressful little wonder we have persons resorting to a quick one like SHINE SHINE BOBO or gin of unspeakable percentage – But how about teetotallers? – according to social psychologists, one can relieve himself from stress by engaging in sex though they view this as an unconventional way of killing stress – this seems to go down well with every guy for my colleagues seemed to enjoy every talk of it plus I doubt if we still have celibates in this current era. It dawned on me after fruitless endeavours of getting intimate with Obed’s kind of girl that I began to but wonder if it was ill luck or something beyond the physical. All guys I have come across do not seem to have challenges maintaining a relationship though they may have academic confrontations; but then it could be understood. Maybe it is a curse for of what purpose is it that something happens to negate an extant intention to enter into a sexual relationship (I tire o!)or did I get baptized with repellants that drives every feasible chance of making it happen? – You should know that is completely rhetorical (frowns).That seems clearly spiritual and to hell with what some legal minds might now want to term “delusion”. What I find disturbing also is as regards my sudden change of mind when the coast is clear. According to Dr. Arishe, if a guy has not passed the age of fifteen and either gets sexually abused or due to curiosity engages in nefarious activities like sex, then it should not be so much an irritation when found in similar situations unlike persons above fifteen who have been able to keep clean sheets (c’mon you know what I mean). Now these persons above fifteen may have the sexual urge which is only normal but then what becomes awkward is such persons (in their sober state) being found in their birthday suit. I love this reasoning and I leave it to you all to test the hypothesis. The hypothesis seems to me correct and can however be abated by a consumption of dry gin in a bid to acquire dutch courage. This challenge does not appear spiritual and since necessity is the mother of invention, it can be well tackled.
So for persons having this supposedly spiritual challenge and the physical issue, here is my resolve. If there has been a perpetual chain of deprivation of getting to the point of a laughable necking and it is not as a result of a diehard principle of the “girl friend” of yours, neither is it that you have not taken conscious steps to make it happen but due to circumstances unknown of which beats rationalities then maybe you should start believing that such an act should not be seen to be manifested for the hour is not yet come. I have called all fruitless endeavours a quit but I will be a great liar to say that I am not in the moment of CHECKING OUT every ‘girl’ that passes by. If you are stuck in this shit hole then you are one arsey dude for Deux Ex Machina did well not to jeopardize or set you aside despite your limpid misplaced priority. Does anyone think this talk is asinine, I am sorry for belittling your knowledge and wasting your assumably precious time; or maybe this is clearly a write-up filled with religious teachings, my bad, I should just take this to church.
                                                                                                     OKOCHA OBED.