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Showing posts from December, 2017

NO PLACE FOR MY DREAMS?

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Two days ago, my mother left the house before 6:00 AM for the NNPC Mega Filling Station in search of a more affordable fuel for her car especially given that the exorbitant rate at which the products is sold for in other stations. Well, she spent the whole day waiting and it was a no show as they were not selling. She left her car there and used an alternative means of transportation to come back home. Very early yesterday morning too, my Father went to continue from where my mother left and once again, he was not able to purchase fuel, only that this time around, he decided against leaving the car behind. Two days ago as well, I used Eight Hundred Naira to buy four litres of fuel. Yesterday, I spent a thousand Naira to buy the same four litres of fuel. Two years ago, I campaigned vigorously for the incumbent President Buhari because I was fed up with former President Goodluck Jonathan's administration which was renowned for it's tolerance for corruption as well as clueles

Diary Of A Random Philanderer: 5

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Mercy was the name of the one and only girl that broke my heart in secondary school. Although her name was Mercy but the way she smashed my heart back then was so merciless that it changed me forever. It's funny how one girl could cause the heartbreak of several chics just because she dumped my ass. Well, as I motioned towards the door, many thoughts juggled through my head but as a sharp guy with a lot of experience in these kind of things, I knew all I had to do was keep my composure. I opened the door and felt relieved when I saw that it was Kelvin (someone I wouldn't call a friend but rather one of those guys that lived nearby). Me: Kelvin hafa na Kelvin: baba no vex o, I just wan charge fone for your room...our light get issue Me: na wa o, that's why you wan break my door...abeg you go just drop am with me cos my chic dey inside Kelvin: okay you too much baba, I go come carry am later. On Sunday morning, I kissed Naomi goodbye as she left for the park. She wan

ON THE SELF INFLICTED IMPOTENCE OF STATE HOUSES OF ASSEMBLY.

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One of the biggest, yet strangest puzzles in Nigeria's nascent democracy is how the numerous State Houses of Assembly have contrived to remain almost beggarly subservient to the State Governors. This is rather shocking because as the Legislative Arm of the States, the House of Assembly in the exercise of their constitutionally guaranteed powers are potentially powerful and capable of holding the Governors accountable but somehow, we've come to see the Houses of Assembly as less than toothless bulldogs. The Independence and powers of the State Houses of Assembly are so explicitly affirmed in the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria as amended. Hence, Section 90 of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria clearly states that: "There shall be a House of Assembly for each of the States of the Federation". Similarly,  Section, 92(1) of the Constitution equally provides that "There shall be a Speaker and a Deputy Speaker of a House o

DIARY OF A RANDOM PHILANDERER: 4

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I had heard some diabolic tales of the Ishan people especially of their girls but now I was at the receiving end of Ese's threat just because I refused to overlook her conspicuous frontals the first time we met which made me collect her number. Well the story of Ese is one for another day. So I switched off my phone and lied to Naomi that it was one of those network calls. On Saturday morning after the decent bonking of the previous night, I put on my phone and saw a text from Ese stating how much she missed me & wanted to link up one last time. I was pissed at myself for not completely cutting ties with Ese. The thing is after we finally broke up, we still had occasional one night stands even when I was dating Naomi (by now you should have figured I cheated a lot on poor Naomi) because it was like she had that kind of inexplicable hold on me. I was going to ignore the text but knowing the kind of chic that Ese is (she'll literally go berserk & show up at my door)

ON MISFIRING SECOND TERM GOVERNORS AND WHY WE SHOULD END SECOND TENURE FOR GOVERNORS.

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The 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria as amended invited Section 182(1)(b) clearly affirms that no person shall be qualified for election to the office of Governor of a State if (b) he has been elected to such office at any two previous elections... Now, this restriction appears fair enough especially given that the United States of America, a country we so desperately seek to be like at least on a surface level is widely flexible as regards the number of terms that Governors are entitled to. For instance, The Governors of states like New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New York, North Dakota, Texas, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin, District of Columbia, and Puerto Rico are allowed unlimited terms in office. So, with Nigeria's proclivity for copying, albeit embarrassingly poorly, everything that the United States of America does, it is rather strange and of course a pleasant surprise that the drafters of the 1999 C

DIARY OF A RANDOM PHILANDERER: 3

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I answered saying: "Nah it's not you baby, it's just the exams that really stressed me" Naomi with an alluring smile replied: "Come over here boo, I know what you need to feel better". Naomi that said "come over here..." didn't even let me come before she dragged me to herself & started making out. Not too long after, I had taken off her bum short & top so she was left with just the usual pant & bra. From her reactions I could tell that my foreplay game was still on point (the last girl I cheated on Naomi with complained about foreplay that I was just rushing for 'knaks'). I was about moving to the main shii when suddenly, my phone rang loudly (damn I forgot to put it on silent) but I ignored it. It kept on ringing so Naomi insisted I pick it. I was about to when i saw that it was the one number that I wished I never collected in the first place. It was my ex girlfriend, Ese the Ishan chic that made me rethink my endless

DIARY OF A RANDOM PHILANDERER CONTINUED:

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...If there's one thing I've learnt from my numerous encounters with women, it'll be that you really don't need to lie when you don't have to because there'll always be a lot of times when you will actually need that lie. So I simply answered saying, "One girl like that on my bbm from about 3 years ago". Naomi being the oversabi chic that she is, probed further (only her doinz in the 'oza room' make me ignore her annoying overzealousness in wanting to know everything) "So Michael how come I haven't met her if you've known her for that long" I replied "Baby that's because we lost contact and haven't spoken since 3yrs ago, that's what I meant from what I said earlier". She certainly isn't the smartest but she makes up for that with other skills that she's got (if you know, you know). At least she seemed satisfied with my reply so I guess that settled that because I wasn't really intereste